


'Cause you're the fire, you're the one.

by flyingonthewind



Category: Lovely Little Losers
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 05:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6315880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingonthewind/pseuds/flyingonthewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" “Balth!” Bea's voice pulled me from the book I had foolishly tried to distract myself with while waiting for the other flat to do whatever it was they were planning to do next. “The suitors are here.” I carefully placed the book onto the bedspread, got to my feet, and took a deep breath. This was it. Everything I had hoped for since I was nigh high, and I was so not ready for it. "</p>
<p>- A look into the mind of Balthazar in the days following the posting of Sonnet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If you don't know...

Pressing a hand against my mouth in some vain attempt at holding back a rebellious smile, I hit the replay icon on the YouTube player. Peter’s words once more rushed through my trusty headphones, the YouTube quality only slightly distorting the all too familiar sound of his voice. Everything inside of me was vibrating. It was the strangest thing. My heart was hammering away, my breath tore at my throat, and a million butterflies were playing catch in my gut. But it wasn’t unpleasant. Not at all. Nothing I had ever felt in my nineteen year long life had ever felt quite like this. My fingers drummed some sort of rhythm against the darkened wood of the table I was sitting at.

  “Balth?!” Bea’s voice cut over Peter’s and I quickly tried to school my features into something less… elated. “We’re going to film a video for the jerks in the flat. Wanna join?” I knew Bea was furious with Ben (and with reason), just as I knew Meg was furious just because Bea was. Kit was mainly just confused. Probably a little hurt, too. I was supposed to be mad or hurt or something, too. I knew the others at Vegan Fred’s flat thought I should be. But it was just sorta hard when the guy I, to put it mildly, had been head over heels for for ages had basically declared his love for me out in the open for all to see. – And yeah, it would have been nice to hear it from his own mouth, face-to-face and all that hullabaloo, but. It still happened. I had the evidence right there on my phone.

  “Yeah, nah.” I shook my head at Bea, turning back to my phone, “I think I’m gonna help Vegan Fred with dinner,” The sight of Peter’s honest face frozen on my screen brought a traitorous smile to my face, which I quickly stemmed. Bea must have caught it though, because she narrowed her eyes at me, suspiciously.

  “Alright.” She said slowly, “We’ll just past on your greetings then.” I raised my eyebrows at her and nodded with no further comment. Whatever they had to say on my behalf would just have to be sorted out when Peter and I got to talk, face to face. And we would get to talk face to face. I would make sure of that. I just didn’t see the harm in letting him stew for just a little longer. Shaking my head, I turned back to my phone. Just one more re-watch, I promised myself, and I would actually go and help Fred. He was letting us stay here for free after all, the least I could do was help him out a little.

* * *

“Balth!” Bea's voice pulled me from the book I had foolishly tried to distract myself with while waiting for the other flat to do whatever it was they were planning to do next. “The suitors are here.” Suddenly staying calm was the last thing I would be able to do. My heart jumped straight up into my throat, where it proceeded beating fast and obnoxiously. I carefully placed the book onto the bedspread, got to my feet, and took a deep breath. This was it. Everything I had hoped for since I was nigh high, and I was so not ready for it.

The others were gathered in the common area of the flat. Peter was standing by the door to the stairwell, next to Vegan Fred. I refused to look at him. Not yet. Not with all the anger and accusation filling up the room. Ben and Fred tried to deflect from the matter at hand by making unsubstantiated stabs at our hosts. Peter just stared at me, face hard. I could feel his eyes on me, full of intend. After the jibes at Fred, Meg took the word. I didn’t really pay attention to the next part, though, too busy trying not to freak out.  Suddenly, we were on the move. I followed the others out onto the terrace, sort of in a daze.

Out of the whole flat this was quite possibly my favourite place. The wind was pleasant in the already warm summer, and the view over the ocean was so utterly calming. Once outside we split up into factions, and, in an attempt to stem the nerves, I wandered off to my favourite spot, just taking in the sights. The nerves did not die down. And then Peter was walking towards me, and if I had thought my heart had been beating fast, it was nothing compared to the rate it was going at now. We sort of circled each other as I finally allowed myself to look directly at him. He held himself stoically, his face locked in a serious mask. His eyes were alight though, smoldering away as he stared straight at me.

  “So you watched the video?” he started. He looked good, out here, in the sharp sunlight. Even if the t-shirt he’d chosen was a terrible fit. – I wasn’t really one to comment though, with my knack for liking over-sized shirts. They were just so much comfier.

  “Yeah,” I nodded, ducking my head, though unable to take my eyes off of him.

  “I love you!” the words were spoken with surety, hitting me like a freight train. His hands were curled into fists at his sides, but there was no tell of nerves in his whole body. He still looked at me, even as I couldn’t look back anymore, too winded by my collision with the train. Obviously he could be sure. He knew how long I had loved him. But this was a whole new territory for me. Or at least. Kinda new. I’d sort of guessed a few days after the Stay thing. But what was months, really, compared to years?

  “I kind of. Love you, too?” a question mark somehow snuck into my already ambiguous, rambling, in-eloquent reply. A smile almost snuck onto Peter’s face at the sound of it. This was not going the way I had dreamt it last night.

  “Kind of?” Peter said, still so calm, hands relaxing against his sides. I chanced a direct look at him again. What did dreams matter when this was real?

  “Kind of. A lot. Yes,” I stepped towards him, my heart seriously having a party in my throat. His eyes didn’t leave my face, even as we gravitated towards each other, finally. His lips were soft and warm and on mine for far too short a time. And still I felt like I might pass out from the lack of oxygen. Bringing my arms around him was the easiest thing in the world. – Especially as I somewhat collapsed against him. He was right there with me, though, his strong arms folding around me as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel how deep he had to pull in the air to fill his lungs, just as I could feel the smile spreading, slowly but surely, over his face.

I had imagined this moment, boy had I imagined it. The number of speeches I could give, or songs I might sing were not to be counted. I had thought myself to become ecstatic, over the moon. Had thought of the thousands of kisses I would press into his skin, just to make up for lost time. But now that I was here, I just felt utterly calm. Numb, almost. Except. Numb didn’t fell this happy. This deep into the bones just. Happy. Peter had started to sway us from side to side, as I pressed my mouth against the warm skin of his neck, eyes closed against the tears I refused to let fall. The blood rushing in my ears made it all too easy to ignore that the world existed beyond this hug of eternity I found myself in. At least, it did until Peter’s hands were sliding down my back, his head lifting from the crook of my neck where it had been hidden.

  “…But I guess I’m ending it.” If anything was to burst my bone-achingly happy bubble those words out of Bea’s mouth would do the trick. Without letting go of Peter, I pulled my head back slightly to look over my own arm still resting on Peter’s shoulder.  

Ben and Bea were standing some ways of, sort of guarded by Meg and Costa, obviously trying not to intrude on any of the many private moments taking place on the for once too small terrace. Everything about Ben’s posture screamed defeat. Bea’s arms were folded protectively over her chest, though who she was protecting was unclear. Ben turned on his heals disappearing out of my line of sight. I looked up at Peter, who had turned his head towards the door.

  “Did they just…?” I whispered into the tiny bit of space between us. He turned to look into my eyes, suddenly sombre. He only nodded, then looked back towards the door, where Fred’s voice was coming from. I looked over at Bea, who was now folded into Meg’s arms. I sighed, stepping out of Peter’s arms, and letting one hand slide down his arm to twine our fingers together. Bea had someone. Ben didn’t. I didn’t have to say anything, Peter just followed me through the flat and down the stairs.

Ben was pulling the door open as we stepped of the last step. I reached out, grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a hug before he got a chance to realise what was happening. Empty phrases, I knew, had no home in these situations. So I didn’t offer any, just held him a beat longer than usual, before stepping back into Peter who was hovering over us. 

“Peter’s going to take you home, okay,” I caught Ben’s already red eyes. He just nodded, turning for the door. “I’m just going to pack my things and make sure things here are fine, and then I’ll follow.” I turned to catch Peter’s eyes. He nodded, smiling a thin smile that widened when I reached up to press a kiss against his cheek. "See you soon,” I turned to send my best ‘I’ve got your back’ smile at Ben, who valiantly tried to return it. Peter grabbed a hold of my shoulder, squeezing tightly as he stepped around me. Then he followed Ben out the door.

* * *

 

My head was a mess as I walked back up the stairs. It didn’t feel fair to be happy when my friends were suffering. But I could still feel Peter’s broad shoulders under my hands, his chest against mine and the ghost of the one kiss that could never be enough.

Packing didn’t take long. Despite what Meg and others had insinuated, I had never intended to stay long, and everything I had brought over had been carefully placed back in my bag after use. Kit and Freddie were lost in a hug when I stepped back out onto the terrace. Costa, Jaquie and Vegan Fred had retreated to the other end of the space, pretending to be lost in their own little conversation. Bea had sat down on the low bench facing the ocean, her arms still folded over her chest. Meg sat next to her, arm loosely around her shoulder as they stared out over Wellington beneath them. They turned to me, quick in their surprise, when I sat down next to them.

  “I though you left with Ben and Peter.” Bea said, voice strained and sharp. I bit my lip and shook my head.

  “Nah,” I said, turning to look out over the mountain side. “Peter’s got it.” A small hand snuck into mine, and a head dropped onto my shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” Bea whispered, “This was your moment. You should be out there with him, being sickeningly in love and all that jazz. You deserve that. You shouldn’t be here taking care of everyone else.” 

  “Not everyone.” I said, smirking slightly, squeezing her hand. “Just you.” She snorted at that.

  “You’re such a good friend. What did all of us drama-inviting dimwits do to deserve a friend like you, Balthazar Jones, Friend Extraordinaire?” I laughed, shaking my head.

  “You’re going to be okay,” I said into the space in front of me. “You’re tough and you have an entire adventure ahead of you. You’ll do just fine.” She let out a long breath, then nodded against my shoulder.

  “You’re right. I am. So go. Be with your boy. God knows you’ve waited long enough!” she straightened up and pushed me of the bench. I shook my head, laughing, as Meg cackled next Bea.

  “Okay, okay, I’m going,” I held up my hands in defense as if I had actually put up a fight. “You girls behave.”


	2. ... You're right next to the right one

Freddie decided to come back to the flat with me. Kit decided to stay behind. They would catch up later, they said. I didn’t really have it in me to care. It had only been like twenty minutes, and I was already getting desperate to get back to Peter. Now that those walls were down, there was no holding me back, it seemed.

The flat was quiet when we entered. Ben was sitting on the red couch, the dog pillow clutched against his chest. His eyes were red, and his hair was a mess. But that didn’t really register with me. Not in a way that counted. Because Peter was sitting on the other couch, and he was looking right at me, the softest smile spreading over his face as our eyes met. I smiled back lifting my guitar case and pointed it towards my room.

“Just gonna put this in my room,” I said. Peter had already gotten to his feet, and I wasn’t at all surprised when he nearly tripped over my feet in his haste to follow me. Freddie had slid silently onto the couch next to Ben, so I didn’t feel horribly guilty over abandoning him for a few minutes.

Peter closed my door by leaning his shoulders back against it. He watched as I placed my things on the still made bed, that soft look still on his face. I loved that look. I loved him. Attempting a smile, I stepped closer to him, catching his hands and pulling his arms around me. He looked down into my face, his eyes honest and open in a way that I had never seen before. I bit my lip as I looked back at him, a smile sort of fighting against the tenseness of my throat. Peter shook his head, quickly, his own smile perfectly tamed. I raised my eyebrow at him, letting one hand sneak up to softly fold around his neck. He shook his head again, smiling wider. Biting back a laughter, I pulled him down, letting my lips meet his once more, quickly, softly. Then again, longer, this time, though no less softly. The third time, he laughed against my lips, his breath ghosting hotly over my skin. I shook my head, our lips never really disconnecting, though our smiles made it difficult to actually turn it into a kiss. He pulled back, slightly, his arms sneaking more firmly around me to pull us even closer together. His face turned more serious as he leant in and finally, finally, kissed me. Really kissed me. Kissed me in the way I had dreamt of for so long.

A thousand years might have passed when we pulled apart. He caught my eyes again, and this time the smile on his lips was smaller, yet at the same time more intense. What was on my face, I had no idea. I swallowed down whatever was suddenly in my throat as his hand came up to fold along my jaw.

  “Hey,” he whispered, his voice sort of rough. I laughed, looking down and back up quickly.

  “Hey,” I replied, my voice seeming to fill up the entire tiny space between us despite how breathless a whisper it was. His lips curled up into a smirk, the light in his eyes dancing. Watching his face was a favourite pass-time of mine, and never had it made my heart sing as it did now, seeing the happiness radiating off of him. A happiness I caused; that was there because I was here.

  “What?” he said as my lips curled up into a smile that nearly hurt. I shook my head slowly.

  “I just can’t believe this is actually happening,” the air left him in a sort of laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corner.

  “Yeah, no. same,” he agreed, swooping down to catch my lips again.

  “That’s seriously addictive,” I muttered as he pulled back a lightyear or two later. He laughed that soundless laugh again, shaking his head, then nodding. This time I reached up to kiss him, because I hadn’t been lying. I could kiss Peter all night and all day and never get tired of it. His hand on my back was searing heat through my shirt as he pressed me close against him. I could feel the ghost of his heartbeat, steady and strong, if a little fast, against the hand that had dropped from his neck to his chest. We sort of swayed in place as we kissed, slow, deep and languidly.

  “I love you,” his lips slipped from mine as he shifted in place, resting his forehead against mine, arms sliding more firmly in place around me, eyes closed, and face entirely calm.

  “You’re making it really hard to leave this room,” I said as my eyes, too, slipped closed.

  “Why would we do such a thing?” his question came a heartbeat later.

  “Ben,” I replied, trying to get my thoughts back into my control. Everything I was was focused solely on Peter, Peter, Peter. His back under my hand, his arms tight around me, his voice telling me he loved me running on repeat in my mind, his breath against my lips as we stood pressed so incredibly close. “Our friend needs us.” He sighed, the warm air of his breath washing against my chin and neck.

  “Right,” he straightened up, and even that tiny bit of distance send a wave of physical ache through me. “Did you know he’d dropped out of uni?”

  “What?” I frowned up at him.

  “Yeah,” Peter’s eyebrows raised, “Apparently he’s been really struggling, and everything just got too much.”

  “I did not see that coming,”

  “Yeah, no. Me neither.” I looked off to the side, biting my lip.

  “I’ve been a shit friend,” Peter shook his head, pressing a kiss against my forehead. I just nodded, looking up into his eyes, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. “I have. I… I should have seen.”

  “Balth.” Peter’s voice was serious, calm and steady. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. Please. None of us saw.” His thump brushed over my cheek, and his eyes were filled with honesty as they met mine. “So, let’s just go back out there, and be there for him now, okay?” I nodded slowly, pulling him down for one last, brief kiss.

  “I love you, too,” I said, with confidence this time. He smiled, then nodded towards the door, letting me step out first.

  “Right!” I clapped my hands together in fake enthusiasm turning to where Freddie and Ben were still sitting on the couch. “Who’s ready for movie night? I don’t think I’ve watched Marlowe in love at all this week!”

* * *

The credits of the second movie of the night were rolling over the computer screen. It had gotten dark outside, and the only light in the room came from the blackened screen and the fairy lights on the wall behind the couch Peter and I had claimed. Empty pizza boxes, bowls with popcorn kennels, and empty glasses circled the computer on the low table.

  “Must have been quite a week,” I said, looking to where Freddie was sleeping against Ben's shoulder on the other couch. Ben, still clutching the dog pillow, nodded slowly. Peter had given up halfway through the second movie, curling against my side, our hands firmly clasped together between us. I could sometimes feel his breath puff against my neck as he slept quietly. I had spent most of the first movie freaking out internally over having Peter – my Peter – sitting next to me, holding my hand, after having told me, in no uncertain terms, that he loved me. During the second I had tried not to get too caught up in figuring out what it all meant or what would be happening next. Obviously, we had a ton of things to talk about, but I sort of also just wanted to get past that part, and move on to the being together, as a couple, as boyfriends part. I really, really, couldn’t wait to explore that part. 

  “Pete looks… content.” Ben volunteered, watching us with a sort of wistful look on his face. I raised an eyebrow at him, contemplating whether to temper the smile on my face. “The two of you make a good pair. Not that anyone’s surprised by that. I mean, we’ve all been rooting for you all year.” I knew a blush was spreading over my cheeks as I averted my eyes to my knees and then to Peter’s pressed against mine.

  “Took him long enough,” I said shyly. It felt strange, talking about Peter and me as a fact instead of a dream and impossibility. I looked up in time to see Ben’s smirk and nod in agreement.

  “I mean, yeah, it did take him an eternity, but he got there in the end.” I nodded, disappearing, for a moment, into my own thoughts. It had taken a lot of drama and a lot of unnecessary hurt to get to this point, but now that I was finally here I couldn’t really regret any of it. It was our story, warts and all, and I didn’t want it any other way. Peter sighed in his sleep, his head twisting against my shoulder, nuzzling closer. The sensation send a shiver up my spine, even as a deep feeling of calmness and content flooded me. Having the man you love sleeping peacefully against you while holding your hand was one of the best, most reassuring things to ever have happen.

  “Peter told me you’re leaving Uni,” I turned from watching the sleeping man on my shoulder to look at Ben. He sighed, looking down at his lap, defeated.

  “Yeah,” he sighed, “I’m a failure.”

  “What? No. Dropping out or taking time off or whatever doesn’t mean you’re a failure.” I rubbed at that spot next to my eye as I tended to do when I got uncertain. Ben looked up at me, the vulnerable look in his eyes telling me he needed the reassurance. “I mean, it’s not like I had pegged you to be the one out of the four of us to leave, but these things happen. I had it easy, really. I’ve always known what it is I want with my life. I mean, music’s what I am, it’s what I do. And I struggled, like a lot. And with the way Peter was going for a while there, I was almost sure it wouldn’t end anywhere pretty. Even Freddie was all over the place. Uni’s hard, man.” I shrugged, hiding a little bit behind my hand. Ben still had that wounded animal look about him as he watched me.

  “Yeah, but my parents are university teachers,” he said, “Like, everyone’s gonna be all ‘he can’t drop out, he’s made to be at Uni’”

  “You just bit over more than you could chew, Ben. You went in all guns blazing with all these expectations and dreams, just throwing yourself at everything in your way. It was just too much.” Ben nodded slowly, picking at his eyebrows.

  “I guess I just thought that if I kept trying I would find something I actually enjoyed and was actually good at, you know? And everything just. Kind of. Sucked. And I wasn’t prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for uni to not be this great institution of learning and discussion and just wonders. I wasn’t prepared to not be good at it.” I watched him from behind my hand, nodding slowly as he spoke. This wasn’t really news to me. I had seen it, had fretted about it. Maybe I should have said something sooner.

  “Yeah, Uni takes work, huh?” I smirked, looking into my lap, thinking of the panic attacks that had accompanied my first semester as I had realised that just maybe I wasn’t quite as great as I had been let to believe.

  “I know!” Ben sighed dramatically. “How d’you think Pete did it? With all the drinking and whatnot? I’ve seen his grades. They’re not actually all that bad.”

  “Natural talent I s’pose.” I smirked. ”Or maybe he secretly studied when he ’went out’.”

  “Yeah. Maybe it was all just a rouse. Maybe he had this whole charade going on. I bet he had a whole scheme with like scripts and like hidden homework smuggled into the flat under his shirts”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I laughed softly, trying not to jostle my shoulder too much, “With, like, water in those bottles he hid under his bed.”

  “Yeah,” Ben sighed, “he definitely had his secrets.” I smiled, nodding along. It felt good, joking about a time that had been filled with so much darkness for all of us. Cleansing. Silence descended over us for a moment, only to be broken by the shrill sound of a message ticking in on a phone. Freddie, whose phone it was, shot up in her seat. Peter jolted against me, groaned and burrowed into my shoulder.

  “Sorry guys,” Freddie said, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” Both Ben and I send her reassuring smiles. Peter groaned sleepily, his hand slipping from mine, sliding, instead, across my abdomen as he pulled himself closer against my side. Turning to look down at him, I awkwardly extracted my arm and slid it around him in an attempt to make his position more comfortable. Freddie had turned to her phone, smiling to herself as she tapped at the screen.

  “I actually think I’m just gonna head of to bed, guys,” Freddie said after a short while, getting to her feet and stretching. I smiled at her as she slipped out of the room.

  “So, are you. Going back to Auckland, or?” I turned to Ben who had pulled his legs onto the couch, settling more comfortably against the arm rest.

  “I mean yeah, I guess. I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

  “Nah, man, you have a choice. We’d cover you here for a time if you wanted,” Peter nodded his agreement against my shoulder, his head rising as he, presumably, looked over at Ben.

  “Yeah, bro. We’ve got your back.” He said, resting his chin against my shoulder.

  “Thanks guys.” Ben smiled genuinely, “But I think I just really need the space, you know. To think it all through. It has been quite the year.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it,” Peter snorted, his thumb drawing circles against my side, seemingly of its own volition. I sort of just smiled, studying the cups on the table in front of me. Did it make sense to make another cup of tea, now that Peter was awake again and I wouldn’t disturb him? A kiss pressed against my cheek pulled me out of my thoughts and I rolled my eyes over to meet Peter’s. “Sorry,” he half whispered, an apologetic half smile on his face. I frowned, shaking my head minutely, trying to communicate that he had nothing to be sorry for, or that he, at least, was forgiven. He shook his head too, leaning forward to catch my lips in a brief peck. Ben groaned next to us and we turned to look at him. Throughout the night we really had tried to keep the PDA down. – Our friend had just been dumped by his long-term girlfriend, and there really was no need to rub our newly declared love in his face.

  “You’re going to be all lovey-dovey sweet all the time aren’t you? With your talking through eye contact and just oozing love for each other. How did I not see this coming?” Ben said in his most dramatic voice, the smirk on his face showing how little he meant what he was saying. Peter was shaking his head again, and I could imagine the playful glare he was shooting Ben.

  “Right, I’m going to get a cup of tea.” I decided, getting to my feet despite Peter’s clinging. “You guys want anything?” He rolled his head over onto the backrest of the couch, and looked at me with betrayal in his eyes.

  “Hot cocoa,” he said, pushing his lips out into a pout. I blew him a kiss, which made him smile.

  “Ben?” I turned to our friend, who was watching us with a soft, almost distant, look on his face.

  “Tea,” he said after a beat. I nodded, making my way towards the kitchen. “Black. With milk!” he called after me as if I didn’t know exactly how he took his tea. I just shot him a thumbs up without turning around.

By the time I made it back with our three cups balanced in my hands, Peter had scooted over to fold over the armrest I had sat by earlier, talking to Ben in animated, though respectfully low tones. They both smiled as I placed the mugs on the table and settled myself down next to Peter. The conversation had turned to Faustus and the craziness that was Costa. From there we progressed to talking about a gig I had coming up (Peter promised to be there no matter what) and from there to talking about some social study Ben had been writing a paper on. Suddenly it was nearing on half past two in the morning, and I was starting to nod of in my seat, snuggled up as I was with my knees against my chest and feet in Peter’s lap.

  “Okay,” I declared when a lull arose in the conversation, “I think I’m gonna head to bed.” I got to my feet and somewhat sluggishly moved through the motion of brushing my teeth and rinsing the products out of my hair. Ben was standing up, stretching, when I re-entered the living room. When he spotted me, he headed my direction.

  “Night, Balth,” he said, as he passed me on his way to the bathroom.

  “Night, Ben,” I turned back towards the couches to find Peter looking at me with a soft smile on his face. His eyes followed me as I made my way over, sinking down to sit on the arm rest of the red couch. A yawn cut over whatever words I had been about to say, prompting me to smile and rub my neck.

“See you in a bit?” I asked Peter, letting my arm fall back down. He raised an eyebrow, questioningly, then nodded. I leand down to press a kiss against his lips, trying not get lost in how amazing it was to be able to do that, finally, before turning and disappearing into my room, purposefully letting the door stay open. I had changed into a pair of lose sweat pants and my softest t-shirt by the time I heard Peter and Ben exchanged hushed good-nights of their own. A few minutes later I was settled, cross legged in the middle of the bed, the blanket covering my legs. Peter walked in to the room, almost uncertainly. He had changed into night clothes as well, his damp hair hanging adorably in front of his eyes. He stopped in the doorway, catching my eyes.

  “Should I…” he waved towards the open door, and I nodded. He softly closed the door and made his way over to the bed, still looking somewhat uncertain. “I wasn’t sure if you meant…” he started, an actual blush rising in his cheeks, “I mean, I didn’t want to be presumptuous…”

  “Peter,” I cut over his nervous stutter, secretly pleased at this display of uncertainty. “Get into the bed.” He blushed and smiled as he crawled onto the bed, leaning over to press a kiss against my lips. I was still trying not to be too overwhelmed by that action. It wasn’t working too well.

  “’Night, Balthy.” He whispered into the soft calm of the flat.

  “’Night,” I whispered back as he pulled me with him down to settle on the bed, my head on his chest, his arm hooked around my waist almost as if to keep me in place. I sighed in contentment, letting my eyes drift shut. “Wait, are you good on your back?” I lifted my head to look up at him.

  “Yeah, Balth, I’m great.” He whispered, eyes closed, a smile still on his face.

  “Good,” I laid my head back on his chest. “Oh. And I love you!” his soft laugh vibrated against my ear.

  “I love you, too. Now, go to sleep,” he whispered the smile evident in his voice. I slid my arm across his abdomen, nuzzling into his chest and closed my eyes. A smile spread over my face as I breathed his sent deep into my lungs, then softly faded as I let the air back out, my face relaxing. Shortly after that I was asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, again, for reading, it means a lot. I'd love to hear what you thought.  
> Come talk to me on tumblr, if you want (flying-on-the-wind.tumblr.com)  
> Have a lovely day, everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I'll post Balthazar returning to the flat tomorrow.   
> The title comes from the song "Right Next to the Right One" by Danish singer Tim Christensen. It kind of reminds me of Peter and Balthazar, even if it was used as the title song for Danish TV show about postmodern family constellations. (It's a good show, if a little melodramatic.)   
> I'm on tumblr, if you feel like stopping by. (flying-on-the-wind.tumblr.com)  
> Other than that, I just want to wish you a very lovely day.


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